5 posts tagged “prayer”

What can I say? I didn’t want to leave.

The facilities were beautiful. But, truly, if we were sleeping in cardboard boxes it would have been just as wonderful.

I had gone on a whim, really. I know JM has a hard time being alone with the boys, much less for two nights, but I asked if I could go and he said yes. I even waited until what I thought was the last minute, figuring if there was room then that was my cue to try. So my main prayer request for the retreat was that I would really get to see the Lord at work.

Since it was a simple prayer request, it was answered quickly.

I carpooled with a mother/daughter couple and another woman. The latter was the focus of my attention (and of the two others’) because she shared with us that she was going through a very traumatic and trying event. After Saturday night’s session, our speaker lead us in prayer. The first of her requests—and she began with requests to the Lord—was on behalf of all the women who were in that particular trying event. That was my confirmation and I was blessed to see the Holy Spirit speaking to us and guiding the prayer times.

He also reminded me of my fear of, well, fear. I tend to be a Jonah and not ask for things because I know God will answer. I know this from experience because can point to very specific events that can only be set ups by God. My walk has been weak lately and I haven’t been faithful to study and pray so my weapons as a prayer warrior had gotten dull and my armor has developed some tarnish. Crusted over with mud (sin), even. I was reminded that sometimes the Lord answers prayer, specifically for a much stronger faith, by granting not only trials (my fear) but also blessings. I had forgotten that God has also answered me that way in the past. And so I had asked Him to do that for me again, to draw me to my knees before Him. Praise Him for His faithfulness to his daughters! Sons, too, of course, but this was a women’s retreat, remember?!

I was also moved by the testimony of our speaker on Sunday morning. Admittedly, I was moved because it was a reminder of something that happened in my past. She spoke mainly about five women in the new testament, four of whose names are never given. The woman with an issue of blood was one she mentioned and said she related to because she also found herself in the same situation. Long story short, she found out she had colon cancer. It was very advanced; the tumor had grown in such a way that it was affecting nearby organs. She didn’t have one doctor but a whole team due to the severity of her case.

When she headed into surgery, on the day of her 11 year old daughter’s birthday, she asked how long it would take. She was told “Tracilee, you don’t have to worry about that. In a little while you’ll either wake up to the smiling faces of your parents or you will wake up and see the face of your Jesus.”

That was three years ago. If you are familiar with colon cancer, you are probably aware that stage four (which sounds like what she had) colon cancer is tantamount to terminal. But our days are not up to doctors; it is God who numbers them.

A lot of you who come visit here may be aware that I lost my mom to cancer when I was a teenager. Also, about three years ago, a friend died of colon cancer in a similarly advanced state. So you can see why I had a reason to be bawling over her testimony.

Now, I know that the verse we were to focus on this weekend was Heb. 10:24-25 but the thought that we all came away with was this one: “Is Jesus enough?”

If you didn’t have a nice home, is Jesus enough? If you lost your health, is He enough? If you lost your children or they left the faith, would Jesus be enough? If you were forsaken by your husband, is Jesus enough? If you didn’t fulfill a life long dream or heart’s desire, would Jesus be enough? (can I truly say, Jesus is my all in all?)

Well, anyway, I was really blessed. Really and truly. I couldn’t get over what I saw. It may sound trite or corny or whatever, but there was real fellowship there: those ladies were real and transparent with one another and I did get to see God in action. Not changing circumstances but rather changing those who were in the midst of them and granting them peace. I was also blessed with three new friends I wouldn’t have met otherwise.

My post script:

I had planned to work on a knitting project, a jacket for myself. I tried to start it on the way down, but I kept messing up and kept having to start over. I tried again in the evening some time after eating dinner, but no dice some task pulled me away. Next attempt was planned for the afternoon quiet time alone, but I forgot (ha! this is the project that was consuming me mentally prior to this weekend) and did pull out my paper and bible for about an hour. I spent that time writing out prayers and questions. Very neatly, I might add. I feel led to hand those as well as my notes to someone. God sure has a way of getting my attention. Good thing, too, because I’m stubborn (then again, He knows/knew that).

My post post script:

We were each assigned another lady to pray for us and our specific needs. The person I got didn’t find me until Sunday. She told me she asked the Lord how she should pray about me but got no specifics. I told her that’s probably because He answered my prayers already, however, I told her I wanted something else. When you make great strides in your spiritual walk, the enemy really hates it and likes to lay mines along your path. I asked my prayer partner that the Lord protect me from that and that He keep the enemy from stealing my joy. Most everyone there this past weekend need those kinds of prayers.

You are amazing. Not just for the intricacy of what You’ve made. Right at this moment, though, I am amazed that you put up with me.

Do you hear me complain? If I were You, I’d get sick of my whining and eye the duct tape. But then again, You know my thoughts before you think them and duct tape is no help.

A few minutes ago, I was annoyed that the skin on my hands is chaffed and dry. You heard that, of course. You anticipated it, even, since You allowed the weather to get as dry and cold as it is.

But then, as I noticed my hand problem you reminded me of your servant, my brother, Yun who spent weeks and months being tortured in unspeakable ways. This man despaired, but in the middle of it all, You granted him not only peace, but joy to share in Your son’s suffering. You filled his heart with Your love to overflowing that sometimes he didn’t feel the pain he had to endure.

Earlier today, I was worried about taking care of two sick boys alone. Then You brought me to the part of the book where Yun talks about being held in solitary confinement. In a 3′x4′4′ iron box! In the cold! You knew that reading that would make my knees weak. Again he despaired but in the solitude You reminded him of your presence and called Your word to his mind to guard him. He emerged from his confinement stronger, though verily, his body had little physical strength.

Brother Yun spoke of how you protected him from the vile scabies that his unkind fellow prisoners bore. Though the guards forced Yun through the septic tanks, you kept him from any disease dispite having no food and water for more that a month. You protected him even though the cell leader, the head of those who blamed him for the curse of their disease, covered Yun in his own soiled blanket. I pray you protect my from whatever germs have a hold of my boys and that You deliver them, just like You delivered Your servant.

Thank you for having Yun’s wife, Deling, share of the miraculous provision you granted while her husband was in prison. Their fields yeilded an amazing bounty even though she and her mother-in-law had no idea how to sow and tend crops. Thank you that I have no real need to pray. I take for granted my ability to drive two minutes to the grocery store and pay for food if it’s needed—or even just wanted.

I’m sorry I’m a complainer. You can help me stop and so I pray You do. Where I find things to mentally gnaw at, I hope I see Your hand instead. Instead of worry, help me practice faith. Replace wanting with joyful giving.

In Jesus’ precious name.